Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
