How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i out mim tonsoeep
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