there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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