So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
