Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
