Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
