Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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