I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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