Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
