there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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