Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
