Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
my shit smells like andre
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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