i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
