Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
