The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
