butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
