Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize