Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
