I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I love having hate sex.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
