so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
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