Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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