ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it glows. i had to have it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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