I skipped work to stalk him.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
