pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
