I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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