Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
