put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
