I think i peed on brittanys purse
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
