Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
