Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
