Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
