Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
