I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
