I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
