So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
