maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
