I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
