Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
