Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
