We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just googled if crying burns calories
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
