I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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