Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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