my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
