So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
