i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
