So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
