butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
