She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
