where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
