it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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