An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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